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My closest friends were the girls from the Ivrit lyceum. When I came back from Paris, I abhorred everything German. Though since childhood I had been speaking German, I even was not willing to speak that language. It was unpleasant for me. I remember on the first day at school the German teacher said with pride, ‘ I heard the Führer’s speech!’ She said it with such pathos that I even started hating her.
Our mathematics teacher was a countess, from a noble kin. We knew that she also supported national-socialism, but she never showed it. She treated me fairly. Mathematics was hard for me and she advised me to take private lessons with a German teacher of mathematics, Baron von Rekkenkaf. He was paralyzed. His hands could move and that was it. His young wife looked after him. He was a great teacher. He explained mathematics so well to me that I started understanding it and even loved it. He also helped me with physics. After having classes with him I got only good and excellent marks in those subjects.
Baron von Rekkenkaf said that I was a Jew, but he treated me in a very friendly manner. I cannot say that all Germans were bad, but often I had to force myself` to communicate with them. Some students from my lyceum started to make fascist hails. They raised their hands and exclaimed, ‘Heil Hitler!’ They were not perturbed with my presence. They did not even consider that I was a Jew, and if the Germans came to Estonia, I could be killed. I understood that they were not hostile toward me. They merely did not understand what type of impression I would get from that.
I had to write a composition in German at my final exam. There was a blank sheet of paper in front of me, but I could not make myself to write a word. The teacher came up to me and said that if I would agree to a satisfactory mark in my certificate, she would help me. Previously I had only excellent marks in German, but I replied that I did not care which mark I would be given. She helped me focus. I understood that I had to write a composition and I wrote it somehow. Thus, I finished lyceum with a bad mark in German, but it did not upset me.
Our mathematics teacher was a countess, from a noble kin. We knew that she also supported national-socialism, but she never showed it. She treated me fairly. Mathematics was hard for me and she advised me to take private lessons with a German teacher of mathematics, Baron von Rekkenkaf. He was paralyzed. His hands could move and that was it. His young wife looked after him. He was a great teacher. He explained mathematics so well to me that I started understanding it and even loved it. He also helped me with physics. After having classes with him I got only good and excellent marks in those subjects.
Baron von Rekkenkaf said that I was a Jew, but he treated me in a very friendly manner. I cannot say that all Germans were bad, but often I had to force myself` to communicate with them. Some students from my lyceum started to make fascist hails. They raised their hands and exclaimed, ‘Heil Hitler!’ They were not perturbed with my presence. They did not even consider that I was a Jew, and if the Germans came to Estonia, I could be killed. I understood that they were not hostile toward me. They merely did not understand what type of impression I would get from that.
I had to write a composition in German at my final exam. There was a blank sheet of paper in front of me, but I could not make myself to write a word. The teacher came up to me and said that if I would agree to a satisfactory mark in my certificate, she would help me. Previously I had only excellent marks in German, but I replied that I did not care which mark I would be given. She helped me focus. I understood that I had to write a composition and I wrote it somehow. Thus, I finished lyceum with a bad mark in German, but it did not upset me.
Year
1940
Location
Talinn
Estonia
Interview
Ester Khanson