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The next wave of repressions started with the Doctors' Plot [23], but our family was not affected. We did not have doctors in our family. Nobody from our relatives worked in state structures. Though, Grandmother's kin from Leningrad suffered from that. Grandmother's distant relative worked for the Kremlin hospital and he was imprisoned. Though, shortly after Stalin's death, she was released from prison and rehabilitated [24].
I clearly remember 5th March 1953 - the day of Stalin's death. I was at school at that time. Our classes were canceled. All students were aligned and taken to Baltic train station. There was a monument to Stalin and we were supposed to sob there listening to the speeches and mourn over him. I felt happy. The school girls had navy blue and gold berets and I covered my face with the beret for people not to see that I was laughing. They must have taken my laughter for sobbing.
At home people took that even with relief. Father said, 'Finally! Now we will have another life and we can breathe freely.' Then there was the Twentieth Party Congress [25]. Of course, I read Khrushchev's speech [26], when it was partially covered in the media. In general, I did not hear anything new as compared to the stories I heard from my dad. The only difference being that it was a prominent party activist saying that, not my dad, therefore I accepted it differently.
I thought Stalin to be a bad, tough man, but the ideology of communism was correct. I decided to be an active Komsomol member to fight for ideology not to be distorted. I wanted to be fair and consistent. I was childish and idealistic - what else can I say ... when I grew up I understood that communism pictured by a utopist was really wonderful, but it was an illusion, a nice fairy-tale for adults.
The events of the Twentieth Party Congress were not discussed at home. At times the adults would drop a phrase along the lines of 'it is good that the thaw started, maybe our relatives will have a better life in Russia.' My uncle Alexander could get the position of the first fiddle in Mariinskiy theater. He waited for a long time, and they did not take him because he started playing better, but just because it turned out that the nationality factor was less important. His wife managed to be in charge of the foreign languages chair at the Financial Institute in Leningrad after being an associate professor. We were not affected by that in any way.
Anti-Semitism appeared in Estonia after the war. However, it was not noticeable at the state level, because Estonians were at power there, who always treated Jews tolerantly. Though, there was anti-Semitism towards the Jews who came from the Soviet Union, and I think that the attitude was bad to them not because they were Jews, but because they were Soviet Jews. Anti- Semitism came from newcomers. We could hear things like 'kike,' 'Hitler failed to exterminate you.' Usually Estonians sharply reacted to that, not the Jews. They protected Jews.
I clearly remember 5th March 1953 - the day of Stalin's death. I was at school at that time. Our classes were canceled. All students were aligned and taken to Baltic train station. There was a monument to Stalin and we were supposed to sob there listening to the speeches and mourn over him. I felt happy. The school girls had navy blue and gold berets and I covered my face with the beret for people not to see that I was laughing. They must have taken my laughter for sobbing.
At home people took that even with relief. Father said, 'Finally! Now we will have another life and we can breathe freely.' Then there was the Twentieth Party Congress [25]. Of course, I read Khrushchev's speech [26], when it was partially covered in the media. In general, I did not hear anything new as compared to the stories I heard from my dad. The only difference being that it was a prominent party activist saying that, not my dad, therefore I accepted it differently.
I thought Stalin to be a bad, tough man, but the ideology of communism was correct. I decided to be an active Komsomol member to fight for ideology not to be distorted. I wanted to be fair and consistent. I was childish and idealistic - what else can I say ... when I grew up I understood that communism pictured by a utopist was really wonderful, but it was an illusion, a nice fairy-tale for adults.
The events of the Twentieth Party Congress were not discussed at home. At times the adults would drop a phrase along the lines of 'it is good that the thaw started, maybe our relatives will have a better life in Russia.' My uncle Alexander could get the position of the first fiddle in Mariinskiy theater. He waited for a long time, and they did not take him because he started playing better, but just because it turned out that the nationality factor was less important. His wife managed to be in charge of the foreign languages chair at the Financial Institute in Leningrad after being an associate professor. We were not affected by that in any way.
Anti-Semitism appeared in Estonia after the war. However, it was not noticeable at the state level, because Estonians were at power there, who always treated Jews tolerantly. Though, there was anti-Semitism towards the Jews who came from the Soviet Union, and I think that the attitude was bad to them not because they were Jews, but because they were Soviet Jews. Anti- Semitism came from newcomers. We could hear things like 'kike,' 'Hitler failed to exterminate you.' Usually Estonians sharply reacted to that, not the Jews. They protected Jews.
Period
Year
1953
Location
Talinn
Estonia
Interview
Cilja Laud