Selected text
When we started this marriage, when I took the first step by getting engaged, I had a condition, we would move into my older sister’s house too when we got engaged.
A house with the back rooms overlooking Halic [the Golden Horn], linoleum floors and no bathroom. Husband and wife, my mother, myself and my fiance, we started living together. This time, a machine belonging to the workplace of my fiance came home. There were handkerchiefs that were sold in Anatolia then. You would sew the edges of those handkerchiefs. This stitch was called “bibila” [Judeo Spanish term]. Every day a roll of cut fabric would come and I would stitch the edges.
We were happy, we were truly very happy. 6 months after the engagement, we had the civil marriage, we were living in the same house with my fiance nonetheless, it seemed more proper to us to be civilly married. I still have no dowry. One morning my fiance got up and took me to the market. We bought black fabric for a coat, green fabric for a coat, black for a dress, green for a dress, blue silk fabric for a nightgown and a nightdress, bed jacket and a lot of other necessities. My fiance paid for all of it and he said to me “this is the payment for a year’s worth of work, you worked and you earned it and you bought it”.
I was really very happy. We gave my nightdresses and nightgown to Sara, the embroidery expert. Nightgowns and nightdresses were an important part of the dowry because brides greeted the family members coming to visit on Sabbath mornings with a nightdress, nightgown and bed jacket. We married in Sisli synagogue too. My wedding gown was rented from Eliya Pardo, too. The only difference with my older sister was that I left the house of a relative as the bride [according to tradition a bride cannot return to the house she left in a wedding gown, this is not considered lucky, if she is returning to her own home, she leaves another house as a bride]. We did not have the luxury of having an evening reception.
In this way, two sisters, we became sisters-in-law. According to Georgian traditions, a bride’s virginity is important. The mother of the girl waits through the night and without fail sees the bloodied sheets. She takes those sheets home, and offers stuffed grape leaves with yoghurt and sweets made with walnuts to the family [recipes at the end of the interview]. The mother-in-law is called, this is called “yuzgorumlulugu” [a present given by the bridegroom to his bride when he has unveiled her for the first time and seen her face]. Offering stuffed grape leaves with yoghurt means we delivered our daughter pure. Even though we lived in the same house with my fiance, and even though we had the civil marriage quite a while before the wedding, my mother waited at the door of the bedroom till the morning. And I gave her the sheets. She wanted to see it because we lived in the same house. She wanted to prove that even though we were married civilly, my husband and I did not have a sexual relationship before the wedding. My husband was so respectful that I don’t remember him holding my hand once while my mother was present.
A house with the back rooms overlooking Halic [the Golden Horn], linoleum floors and no bathroom. Husband and wife, my mother, myself and my fiance, we started living together. This time, a machine belonging to the workplace of my fiance came home. There were handkerchiefs that were sold in Anatolia then. You would sew the edges of those handkerchiefs. This stitch was called “bibila” [Judeo Spanish term]. Every day a roll of cut fabric would come and I would stitch the edges.
We were happy, we were truly very happy. 6 months after the engagement, we had the civil marriage, we were living in the same house with my fiance nonetheless, it seemed more proper to us to be civilly married. I still have no dowry. One morning my fiance got up and took me to the market. We bought black fabric for a coat, green fabric for a coat, black for a dress, green for a dress, blue silk fabric for a nightgown and a nightdress, bed jacket and a lot of other necessities. My fiance paid for all of it and he said to me “this is the payment for a year’s worth of work, you worked and you earned it and you bought it”.
I was really very happy. We gave my nightdresses and nightgown to Sara, the embroidery expert. Nightgowns and nightdresses were an important part of the dowry because brides greeted the family members coming to visit on Sabbath mornings with a nightdress, nightgown and bed jacket. We married in Sisli synagogue too. My wedding gown was rented from Eliya Pardo, too. The only difference with my older sister was that I left the house of a relative as the bride [according to tradition a bride cannot return to the house she left in a wedding gown, this is not considered lucky, if she is returning to her own home, she leaves another house as a bride]. We did not have the luxury of having an evening reception.
In this way, two sisters, we became sisters-in-law. According to Georgian traditions, a bride’s virginity is important. The mother of the girl waits through the night and without fail sees the bloodied sheets. She takes those sheets home, and offers stuffed grape leaves with yoghurt and sweets made with walnuts to the family [recipes at the end of the interview]. The mother-in-law is called, this is called “yuzgorumlulugu” [a present given by the bridegroom to his bride when he has unveiled her for the first time and seen her face]. Offering stuffed grape leaves with yoghurt means we delivered our daughter pure. Even though we lived in the same house with my fiance, and even though we had the civil marriage quite a while before the wedding, my mother waited at the door of the bedroom till the morning. And I gave her the sheets. She wanted to see it because we lived in the same house. She wanted to prove that even though we were married civilly, my husband and I did not have a sexual relationship before the wedding. My husband was so respectful that I don’t remember him holding my hand once while my mother was present.
Period
Location
/Adana
Türkiye
Interview
Rebeka Evgin