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My older son Salvator Yesua (we call him Salvo for short) was born in Istanbul in 1955 along with his twin. When Salvo was born, he was 1.7 kg., the other one was 2.8 kg. Salvo’s twin lived for 4 months. One day I put both in their stroller and took them to Tozkoparan to get some fresh air and to feed them their formula. He died suddenly until we reached home. We called a doctor, he said “teila amen”, there was no cause, he was fine. Some said it was because of evil eye. The fat one died, the thin one lived. Because Salvo was very thin, he couldn’t be circumcised after either 1 month or 3 months, only 6 months later was it possible. His weight was not sufficient, we had a lot of difficulty. His weight was checked every month. When he was up to his normal kg., then he had his circumcision. We celebrated Salvo’s bar-mitzvah in a ballroom that was under Site sinemasi(movie-theater). There were no hotels and such then.
He studied in the 11th elementary school in Sishane. He went to B’nai Brith for junior high. Then he went to night school for English. We sent my older son to Nesim Behar to learn religion. But Nesim Behar put a lot of pressure. He was a child then, religiously children should not be pressured. On Saturdays you will not touch money, you will not walk, you will not turn on the radio, you will not play ball, you will not go out, and so on and so on. In the end the child rebelled, now he has nothing to do with religion.
When Salvo was 18 years old, he met Arlet Munteanu. They came from Romania, rather from Romania to Israel, and from there to Istanbul. My son and Arlet formed a friendship. When my son reached 19, just as he entered 20, he was supposed to be called to military service. But Arlet and her family wished fervently to have a civil marriage just so she could stay here. Consequently she wasn’t able to stay in Turkey. They were calling her to military service in Israel, or she should be enrolled in university. She then studied here in university. One day Salvo brings Arlet to me, the families haven’t met yet. Listen mom, I am leaving for the military on Monday, I am entrusting Arlet to you, we got engaged between ourselves, but we will make the final decision after I complete the military service, and he left. In the meantime I would call Arlet for my son’s sake, we would take her out to eat on Sundays. Later she would return home to study. Two months hadn’t gone by, one day her mother calls me: “I am Arlet’s mother, if I invite you over for coffee, would you come?” I said thank you very much, let me consult my spouse, I will let you know. We accepted the invitation, met them, had coffee, conversed. In the meantime Arlet’s father comes up and says what do you want for dowry. How am I going to talk in my son’s place, I said, my son hasn’t made his final decision yet, don’t pressure me. Let my son return from the military, let them decide, then we will talk about the dowry. They talked already, he said, you promise me, are you giving your son to us. I am giving 600 dolars now, until they get married this money will be saved and we will give all of it, he said. I did not say yes or no. Our father did not talk, he was always the quiet type. I came home, I wrote my son a letter. You entrusted this girl to us, but you cannot entrust, this is their only daughter. They want to bring this to its finality, they pressured me I said, he could not say anything. The very next week, father and daughter and my husband went to Amasya to see my son. Later on, my son came on leave before his service was finished, and immediately we had the civil cerremony because Arlet was completing 18 years of age. They got married so she didn’t have to go to Israel for military service. The wedding happened after the military service. They got married in Neve Salom [9] . He had two daughters, named Elza and Raiza. Elza went to Bilge ilkokulu(elementary school) in Maslak, and Lala Hatun ilkokulu in Nisantas. Later she enrolled in Robert Lisesi (highschool) [10] having won first place in Turkey in the entrance exam. Then she went to university in France. She studied art, she’s done, now she is still there, both to improve her French and to have a career. Raiza is studying in Koc lisesi(highschool), she will finish and go to the United States.
My son separated from his wife Arlet in April of 2000. One Passover night, when he was over here, he said he doesn’t want to go home anymore. I said o.k. Anyways they weren’t getting along for a while, he constantly came to me. He would go to play ball, then he would stop by, o.k. one night is fine, 2.night is fine also, 3rd. night again, then I said, come talk to me openly, what is happening. You weren’t someone who came here every night. Mom, we decided with Arlet to separate, don’t get upset, he said. I said o.k. And a month later he left home. He wanted to stay in a hotel, I did not let him, I said you will come and stay here. He stayed for 1-1,5 years. He met Zeynep, became friends, said I will marry Zeynep. Zeynep wasn’t Jewish, she was Muslim. At first I refused, but later on after I met her, I liked her and I said my son’s happiness is more important and I accepted. And he got married a second time.
He studied in the 11th elementary school in Sishane. He went to B’nai Brith for junior high. Then he went to night school for English. We sent my older son to Nesim Behar to learn religion. But Nesim Behar put a lot of pressure. He was a child then, religiously children should not be pressured. On Saturdays you will not touch money, you will not walk, you will not turn on the radio, you will not play ball, you will not go out, and so on and so on. In the end the child rebelled, now he has nothing to do with religion.
When Salvo was 18 years old, he met Arlet Munteanu. They came from Romania, rather from Romania to Israel, and from there to Istanbul. My son and Arlet formed a friendship. When my son reached 19, just as he entered 20, he was supposed to be called to military service. But Arlet and her family wished fervently to have a civil marriage just so she could stay here. Consequently she wasn’t able to stay in Turkey. They were calling her to military service in Israel, or she should be enrolled in university. She then studied here in university. One day Salvo brings Arlet to me, the families haven’t met yet. Listen mom, I am leaving for the military on Monday, I am entrusting Arlet to you, we got engaged between ourselves, but we will make the final decision after I complete the military service, and he left. In the meantime I would call Arlet for my son’s sake, we would take her out to eat on Sundays. Later she would return home to study. Two months hadn’t gone by, one day her mother calls me: “I am Arlet’s mother, if I invite you over for coffee, would you come?” I said thank you very much, let me consult my spouse, I will let you know. We accepted the invitation, met them, had coffee, conversed. In the meantime Arlet’s father comes up and says what do you want for dowry. How am I going to talk in my son’s place, I said, my son hasn’t made his final decision yet, don’t pressure me. Let my son return from the military, let them decide, then we will talk about the dowry. They talked already, he said, you promise me, are you giving your son to us. I am giving 600 dolars now, until they get married this money will be saved and we will give all of it, he said. I did not say yes or no. Our father did not talk, he was always the quiet type. I came home, I wrote my son a letter. You entrusted this girl to us, but you cannot entrust, this is their only daughter. They want to bring this to its finality, they pressured me I said, he could not say anything. The very next week, father and daughter and my husband went to Amasya to see my son. Later on, my son came on leave before his service was finished, and immediately we had the civil cerremony because Arlet was completing 18 years of age. They got married so she didn’t have to go to Israel for military service. The wedding happened after the military service. They got married in Neve Salom [9] . He had two daughters, named Elza and Raiza. Elza went to Bilge ilkokulu(elementary school) in Maslak, and Lala Hatun ilkokulu in Nisantas. Later she enrolled in Robert Lisesi (highschool) [10] having won first place in Turkey in the entrance exam. Then she went to university in France. She studied art, she’s done, now she is still there, both to improve her French and to have a career. Raiza is studying in Koc lisesi(highschool), she will finish and go to the United States.
My son separated from his wife Arlet in April of 2000. One Passover night, when he was over here, he said he doesn’t want to go home anymore. I said o.k. Anyways they weren’t getting along for a while, he constantly came to me. He would go to play ball, then he would stop by, o.k. one night is fine, 2.night is fine also, 3rd. night again, then I said, come talk to me openly, what is happening. You weren’t someone who came here every night. Mom, we decided with Arlet to separate, don’t get upset, he said. I said o.k. And a month later he left home. He wanted to stay in a hotel, I did not let him, I said you will come and stay here. He stayed for 1-1,5 years. He met Zeynep, became friends, said I will marry Zeynep. Zeynep wasn’t Jewish, she was Muslim. At first I refused, but later on after I met her, I liked her and I said my son’s happiness is more important and I accepted. And he got married a second time.
Period
Location
/İstanbul
Türkiye
Interview
Zelda Ers
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