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We used to gather at their house, I met the man who later became my husband at their house. Bagyi [my husband] was already a doctor, while my suitor was a young student, and he worked next to him in the institution. Thus Bagyi knew me for a long time. My suitor had only a father who survived, they came back from the war together. His sister came back later. We were on very good terms with her too. His father liked me a lot too, we gathered at their house many times, we had a great time. In those times people lived in order to forget, to recover somehow.
His father knew what a big income we had, that we could buy two houses, so he thought I was a good match. Once when he said his relatives would come from Brasso, and they were preparing, waiting for the relatives, I had a new dress, I put it on, it was a summer dress. I thought I would go to meet the relatives. But the reception was so cold. I felt I had no reason to stay there, and we left. From that day on I always thought I should put an end to this. But we couldn't break it up, because he was much attached to me, and so was I to him. Whoever came back and met somebody, they were stuck to each other. He had lost his mother, I had lost my parents. We could understand each other very well.
After that I kept on thinking and brooding about what to do, because Dorika was against this relationship from the very beginning: 'He doesn't suit you, a person of different age would suit you.' Then I went to Brasso, my sister Margit still lived in Brasso, they hadn't left for Israel yet. And they said they had an acquaintance they would like me to meet. They wanted to recommend a young man to me. But nothing came of it. My suitor couldn't have possibly found out when I was to come back to Marosvasarhely, but he did somehow and was waiting for me at the railway station. I could see his attachment to me.
Then we had a ball, the doctors' ball. His father and his sister, who was also studying, chose someone else for him. I found out. At the ball he was one of the organizers, he couldn't sit down much. I was sitting next to Bagyi, because he wasn't a great dancer, he was so serious. I wouldn't have thought something would come of it. My friend, who was the wife of a doctor, and she was an associate professor of pharmacology at the university, brought a bottle of fine liqueur, and we were drinking, and if one drinks a little, one changes a little, opens up a little. I told my friend, 'Eva, we'll leave you alone now, we'll go to dance.' Of course Bagyi was such a steady character, so shy, not a sociable person at all... Then we danced, and I felt this certain obstinacy, for I hadn't come to the ball with him, but with the other guy, my suitor. Then I said now is the time, and we left the ball without my suitor noticing it.
Of course he was looking for me. My friend told him we were gone. Bagyi took me home. After a few days I went to the theater, and what do I see, both guys are there together and with company, and I was sitting in the stalls with a relative. When the performance was over, I came across him [Bagyi] at the cloakroom, and he asked me if he could take me home. We left, we took a long walk after the performance, and then he asked me whether he could visit us. 'Of course he could, I said.' At this moment I knew it was over with my suitor.
After the ball my former suitor called on my cousin, Hedike to ask her to mediate, so that we'd be reconciled, but there wasn't any chance for that anymore. The ball was in January, and at the end of March Bagyi told me that he had serious intentions, but he wanted to get to know me better first. So we got to know each other better over the next few months, and our relationship resulted in marriage. We got married in July. When we were walking together after the ball, he had said things like: 'It takes time to get to know a girl well.' Yet it was only a short time: from February to July. Then we got married, we had a civil wedding. We didn't have a religious wedding. There was a restaurant, the Elekes, we had dinner there; we organized a dinner there after the wedding.
I was at a ball only once in my life, in January 1949, and this ball determined my fate. It was decided there whom I should marry. I met my husband there, and he was my husband for almost sixty years - the marriage lasted fifty-seven years. It turned out later that he had been attracted to me from the very first moment. I had known him for four years before we got married. But he had a partner too at that time. We didn't have any family problems, just the religious difference. My previous relationship was with a Jew, and he was Christian. But his father didn't have any objections; this issue never came up at all.
His father knew what a big income we had, that we could buy two houses, so he thought I was a good match. Once when he said his relatives would come from Brasso, and they were preparing, waiting for the relatives, I had a new dress, I put it on, it was a summer dress. I thought I would go to meet the relatives. But the reception was so cold. I felt I had no reason to stay there, and we left. From that day on I always thought I should put an end to this. But we couldn't break it up, because he was much attached to me, and so was I to him. Whoever came back and met somebody, they were stuck to each other. He had lost his mother, I had lost my parents. We could understand each other very well.
After that I kept on thinking and brooding about what to do, because Dorika was against this relationship from the very beginning: 'He doesn't suit you, a person of different age would suit you.' Then I went to Brasso, my sister Margit still lived in Brasso, they hadn't left for Israel yet. And they said they had an acquaintance they would like me to meet. They wanted to recommend a young man to me. But nothing came of it. My suitor couldn't have possibly found out when I was to come back to Marosvasarhely, but he did somehow and was waiting for me at the railway station. I could see his attachment to me.
Then we had a ball, the doctors' ball. His father and his sister, who was also studying, chose someone else for him. I found out. At the ball he was one of the organizers, he couldn't sit down much. I was sitting next to Bagyi, because he wasn't a great dancer, he was so serious. I wouldn't have thought something would come of it. My friend, who was the wife of a doctor, and she was an associate professor of pharmacology at the university, brought a bottle of fine liqueur, and we were drinking, and if one drinks a little, one changes a little, opens up a little. I told my friend, 'Eva, we'll leave you alone now, we'll go to dance.' Of course Bagyi was such a steady character, so shy, not a sociable person at all... Then we danced, and I felt this certain obstinacy, for I hadn't come to the ball with him, but with the other guy, my suitor. Then I said now is the time, and we left the ball without my suitor noticing it.
Of course he was looking for me. My friend told him we were gone. Bagyi took me home. After a few days I went to the theater, and what do I see, both guys are there together and with company, and I was sitting in the stalls with a relative. When the performance was over, I came across him [Bagyi] at the cloakroom, and he asked me if he could take me home. We left, we took a long walk after the performance, and then he asked me whether he could visit us. 'Of course he could, I said.' At this moment I knew it was over with my suitor.
After the ball my former suitor called on my cousin, Hedike to ask her to mediate, so that we'd be reconciled, but there wasn't any chance for that anymore. The ball was in January, and at the end of March Bagyi told me that he had serious intentions, but he wanted to get to know me better first. So we got to know each other better over the next few months, and our relationship resulted in marriage. We got married in July. When we were walking together after the ball, he had said things like: 'It takes time to get to know a girl well.' Yet it was only a short time: from February to July. Then we got married, we had a civil wedding. We didn't have a religious wedding. There was a restaurant, the Elekes, we had dinner there; we organized a dinner there after the wedding.
I was at a ball only once in my life, in January 1949, and this ball determined my fate. It was decided there whom I should marry. I met my husband there, and he was my husband for almost sixty years - the marriage lasted fifty-seven years. It turned out later that he had been attracted to me from the very first moment. I had known him for four years before we got married. But he had a partner too at that time. We didn't have any family problems, just the religious difference. My previous relationship was with a Jew, and he was Christian. But his father didn't have any objections; this issue never came up at all.
Period
Year
1949
Location
Marosvasarhely
Romania
Interview
Magda Fazekas