Tag #151869 - Interview #101527 (Frida Khatset)

When grandmother died of cancer in 1923 my grandfather moved in with us and Yiddish sounded again in our apartment when my parents talked with grandfather. The children talked Russian with grandfather, but he spent little time with us. He spent almost all his time praying, we were not allowed to disturb him. My mother looked after grandfather since my grandfather was very ill when he joined us. He was grieving after my grandmother very much. He had a room of his own where we didn’t bother him. He was constantly praying and we were required to keep quiet and bother him not. We could talk with grandfather during dinner on Jewish holidays. On other days we had meals separately: my grandfather followed kashrut and  my father came late from work and also had dinner by himself.  Only on Jewish holidays we had meals sitting at a big table. My grandfather sat at the head of the table with his tallit on, but it was actually all done for my grandfather. I remember that my brothers and I were to sit at the table at Pesach, Purim and other Jewish holidays, but we couldn’t wait until we were allowed to leave the table to play. Our parents weren’t religious and didn’t observe any traditions, all they did was to show respect to grandfather. There is a ritual at Yom Kippur when a chicken is to be turned over one’s head and I didn’t want to have it done, but my mother insisted ‘You have to obey. It’s your grandfather’s wish’. My older brother was to find the matzah that grandfather hid under a pillow during seder at Pesach. We observed Jewish ritual only for grandfather’s sake and from the feeling of respect towards him. My brother’s and I often objected, but our father told us that we had to respect or grandfather’s feelings. Our grandfather had cancer and suffered a lot in the last two years of his life. He died in 1926. He was buried in accordance with Jewish customs, this was what father told us, we did not attend the funeral. My grandmother and grandfather were buried at the Jewish cemetery near Babi Yar. This area was graded later 12. My mother and we went there before the Great Patriotic War to cleanup the graves, but when my parents went there after we returned to Kiev when the war was over there were no graves at the area. 

We didn’t celebrate any Soviet holidays when grandfather was with us. After our grandfather died in 1926 we didn’t speak Yiddish in the family.

Shortly after our grandfather died our father received an apartment in Kostyolnaya Street in the very center of Kiev. There were 4 rooms there: my parents’ bedroom, my father’s office, my brothers' room and a dining room where I lived. We didn’t light any candles or celebrate any Jewish holidays after grandfather died. This was a period of struggle against religion 13 we were raised as atheists at school and our parents created this atmosphere at home as well. Besides, our parents were not religious. We celebrated birthdays and a New Year. We always had a New Year Tree decorated at home, although it was not allowed by at that time. The Soviet power considered it to be vestige of the dark past, but we always had one anyway. We decorated the tree and in the morning of 1 January we found gifts under the tree. We believed that Santa Claus ( Granny frost – in Russia) brought them. Our father’s birthday on 9 January was the most festive celebration in our family when members of the family and friends came to greet him, there was no typical menu – just plenty of food.  We still keep this tradition.